#but for the first time ever i am able to make a real financial plan

[chekovsphaser]

Man I have had an emotional rollercoaster of a day today.

[pixeldistractions]

I said I wanted an adventure:

And oh boy, life delivered. Sadly, it won’t be the airplane adventure we were planning. That’s going to be postponed for a little while.

Warning: walls of text and real-life shit. (Serious wall of text, I’m not even joking.)

Long story short, hubby was laid off from the job that has kept us in a cushy living for the past fifteen years, the job that has given me the luxury of being 85% a stay-at-home mom to both of my kids in their younger years. We kind of saw it coming, and we’re not totally scared. He got a severance package and health insurance for six months. On my end, my books don’t make much money, but I’m telling you, I am a squirrel when it comes to money, mine and his, and I’m not bad at investing. We’ll be okay for a bit.

So, I’m not scared. Yet. But wow, how things can change in the blink of an eye.

For one, we’ll probably move. I don’t know where. The timing is kind of miraculous, with one child graduated and one not yet in kindergarten, we’re free to go wherever we please right now. It was never my dream to move to northern Virginia in the first place. It’s hot and muggy here, and the people are transient, snobby, and kind of boring. My vote is to move back home to Michigan, but when it comes to the bottom line, we gotta pay the bills, so we’ll go wherever he finds work next. He is talented and I know he’ll find work again, but where and what and for how much is up in the air. All I know is northern Virginia is expensive af and we can’t stay here for long if he’s not earning what he did before.

And I don’t really want him to take another corporate job? Not now, in our forties, having spent ALL of our fucks. I’m not sorry he did that kind of work before, because it was a good financial decision for our family, but it wasn’t always fun. He found it stressful and soulless. Unlimited vacation time, haha, as long as you keep your nose to the grindstone and keep your lips ready for the ass-kissing. Anyway.

So we could be elsewhere, and that would be totally okay by me. I don’t want to stay here. I want to move back home to Michigan. My heart sings for it. My whole family is there. The lakes, the forests, the arts, the farms. I’d cash out our investments to buy some land and a modest house in as much cash as we can. And I’ll have some chickens and goats and tomato plants (because it’s the only thing I could ever get to grow). It’s not out of the question. On the other hand, sometimes families in our situation try and try and are still out of work after a couple years, and that nest egg chips away and dwindles to nothing, especially now and especially in the tech field like he is with layoffs everywhere, especially after 6 months when health insurance premiums come due. Yay, America!

So, I don’t know anything about my future right now. Is that scary, or exciting? Both maybe? For now, for the next few months/year, I don’t think very much will change on my end except the timing. I was talking a couple weeks ago about feeling the call to get back to publication writing. I was planning to get serious about it soon, and very serious about it next school year when my youngest is in full-day kindergarten. (He has one more year of preschool first.) But, hey, I guess maybe now would be a better time to hustle some fiction for cash? Granted, I’m still mostly a full-time caregiver to a four-year-old with needs, and those short preschool days fly by. Also considering sick days and snow days, little kids aren’t actually in school very much at all. But I am itching to get back to work, I’m feeling that call, and now it’s also more of a necessity that I work smart (for money) with my little 10-15 hours a week of free time.

As for the state of my blogs and sims stories… Well, it was a pure luxury to be able to sit on my butt and work on Sims stories when my kid went to preschool for three hours a day, 3-5 days a week. It was a privilege—one that I have now lost. Life happens, and things change. It is what it is. And now it’s not really responsible for me to spend all of my free time writing stories of this scope for freebies.

Boxes and Squares is only halfway finished, and the second half is just as large as the first. It took me over a year to complete what I have so far. And where we’re at now, it’s such a special part of the story, an important turning point and the culmination of a lot of things. I was very much looking forward to it. But it’s also LONG. Simming the whole thing would take a lot of time that I don’t have to spend anymore. But I think I’ve come up with a way to not totally quit.

I don’t know if I mentioned it, but I always hoped to bring this story to books someday. I always wondered if it might be better suited to the general book fiction/literary market. It’s floundering here on Simblr. Five, dear, beloved people were reading it. I love you guys. But why did it never catch on in all this time? I could never really figure out why it was so invisible here. Maybe the pictures were ugly. Maybe the conflict was too tame. Not enough vampires? Not enough guns or murder? Never learned to use ReShade properly? Does my breath stink? Maybe I don’t really want to know the answer in the end.

It’s meant for other things, if anything at all. Maybe nothing at all, but who knows. Maybe it’ll find its niche someday elsewhere. I love this story (why, oh why do I love it so?), and I can’t quit it. I couldn’t quit if I tried. The story of these wandering misfits is so personal and interesting to me, and I need to see it through to the end.

I have to say, with certainty now, I’ll finish it out in books. I’ve already started tinkering with the first few chapters of a newly imagined beginning. And oh, it’s sparkling! It begins with a reimagined work field trip scene, with Jordan and Maria on a soggy farm in the cold rain. I don’t know if it’ll do well in the general book market, but I can say I have had fun drafting it here and I will have fun finishing it out in books. I always wanted to try a series format story in books. It’s looking like it’ll be about 8-9 novella/short-novel sized chunks. Anyone who was reading here will get free ebook copies, of course. Hell, if I ever meet you in person, I’d hand you a signed paperback, too. Shipping fees are a bitch, though, or else I’d mail them.

As I’ve been picking at these book drafts the past couple weeks, I’m quickly remembering how freeing it is to write in full text. Not having to compromise my vision according to what I might be able to do in game or with poses, not having to fight with game glitches and crashes and broken mods before I can even begin the work. The words do as I tell them to, and nothing is off limits if I have the words to describe it! Returning to that feels quite magical. I might be a little rusty at this after so many years away, but I remember how it goes. Muscle memory, decades of practice, so much trial and error under my belt already. I know what I’m doing here. It’s comfortable and it’s good.

But I was so excited to share book 5. I really, truly was. It contains some of my favorite scenes in the whole story! I’m sad to leave the story hanging where it is, even though, perhaps, if you look at it just right, chapter 4.5 did offer some resolution for the story to land on.

So, to the five of you who were reading my story and do care, thank you for reading this thing! Your likes and comments meant the world to me as I poured my heart and soul into this quiet little story. And I hope this compromise will work for everyone. And if it doesn’t, I’m sorry.

Which is not to say I’m going to abandon the sims entirely. I’ve been playing sims since 2003 and writing sims stories since 2008. I love seeing my characters and their world visually. In a way, it’s been an outlet for the sad reality that I’ll never be able to draw a graphic novel, lol!

So you’ll still see my sims from time to time. Updates won’t come as frequently as I was able to do before. It will look different, but I’d love to keep my timeline puttering along, if I can. You’ll see gameplay shenanigans and maybe some mini stories. Even B&S characters, you’ll still see them on here, going about their lives. I couldn’t stop it if I tried. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll still be playing my sims just as I have since I discovered Sims 1. And maybe in a couple years, when my youngest is in school full time and our financial situation will have hopefully settled, I might be able to do another hefty sims story again. But for now, things will be different. Life happens, and things change.

I’m still going to finish “Miserable Ghost Story,” too, which is a traditional stand-alone novel. And I have many more WIPs than that to finish. I have another old dear novel that I’ve been picking at for 20 years that I’d like to see the light of day sometime. I have a couple more spin-offs from the EWTF and F&B set, too. It’s in my best interest to buckle down and finish all the WIPs I can. I have so many of them, after all. Earn three bucks a copy, invest it and turn it into ten. That’s my game. I was a finance major in college for a hot minute before I became an English major. I can be artsy-fartsy and business-minded all at once.

All this to say, regretfully, stories will not return in mid-August as I had planned. But they will return eventually, in some shape or form, as soon as I can settle my brain from the spinning. And, I guess, update my game and mods for the new pack.

And if there’s any luck in the world, maybe next year I’ll be living on Lake Michigan, writing my stories, taking care of my kids and acres of property and maybe some goats. Goat cheese and romance novels, isn’t that the dream? Graciously accepting any prayers or well wishes, please and thank you!

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

THE CASE OF THE GREATER GATSBY EPISODE 17 MOMENTUM AND EPISODE 18 SMOOTH

What a lucky girl am I. Citizen Jasper Fox one week, then Mel’s Christmas party (narrated by Cliff and Willie of all people!) the next. The Persauds truly are spoiling me. And so many details to mull over!

Full mulling under the cut. It’s long, there are theories, blah blah blah. You know the drill.

So, uh, guys, DID I ACTUALLY GUESS IT?? Is my wild-and-crazy Sheilah/Mel theory from a couple of posts back actually on the money??? We haven’t gotten full confirmation from the story yet, just suspicion from our characters, and since it’s my theory I’m going to refuse to truly believe until there’s no room for doubt. But Fig and Ford have happily jumped aboard the good ship Meilah, and I’m soooo here to see how that plays out.

On the other hand, the other part of that theory, that TD is Fitzgerald’s mysterious midnight murderer, doesn’t hold up as well. Wilhelmina and Cliff vouch for the fact that he was at the party between Fitzy’s exit and 1am. This doesn’t necessarily mean anything—Scott was too drunk to record the exact time of his own murder, and while we can infer that it was before 1am (as he probably started recording the moment he arrived home), we don’t know for sure. But even if TD didn’t head to Fitzgerald’s in the dead of night, we still have to account for his hour-long disappearance earlier in the evening. Sheilah notably mentions that she cannot find her keys at around the same time that TD goes missing. As staff able to take people’s coats, TD was perfectly situated to lift her keys without being noticed. He likely spent that missing hour breaking into Scott’s and Sheilah’s house, right? He could have been trying to acquire a copy of Greater Gatsby for Mel, accomplish something related to his quest to join the Brigade, or even follow some order from Mel related to Sheilah’s and Fitzy’s latest spat. After all, we know from an off-hand comment from Cliff that the pair had recently had a fight dramatic enough to become full-blown Hollywood gossip.

But Fitzgerald’s murder is not the only mystery to solve. Do we think this Horace Beanslot, with his apparent disdain for original stories, has anything to do with the mysterious death threats plaguing adaptions? Think about it: Horace strikes down Mel’s passion project idea, over-ruling her enthusiasm for genuine storytelling and art (who knew?) because adaptions are a financially safer bet. Barely a week later, Wilhelmina receives the first in a series of threatening letters targeting those involved with making said Hollywood adaptions. What if the letters are an intentional plan cooked up by Mel and/or TD to make adaptions toxic to Hollywood, encouraging Beanslot to allow Mel’s original passion projects instead? That would explain why so many of the letters were dropped off around the Grapes set without anyone noticing—it would be easy for TD or hired help to deliver all manner of things without attracting any attention. A quest to destroy Hollywood’s adaption habit could also explain why Mel seems to be almost actively sabotaging The Grapes of Wrath at every turn.

And then, ever so inevitably, there is the Dash of it all. What the flippity-flappity-frick was he doing at that party? Fitzgerald had yet to be murdered, Wilhelmina had yet to receive the first letter… all of the cases Fig and Ford are investigating technically hadn’t started. So was Dash there on a matter unrelated to what he’s working on now? Or is he part of something that began much earlier than we know? I mentioned last time that Dash only really appears when Willie is around, and this pattern held true once again. Maybe Roger hired him to keep an eye on Wilhelmina while he was away in the slammer? Alternatively, is/was Dash somehow working for Penny? I don’t think this is particularly likely, their alleged Christmastime hook-up feels more like a cheeky nod to Joey and Lauren’s real life marriage, but it seemed worth asking.

As for the interviews, I’m afraid they were a little more informative to Ford than they were to me. It appears we are fast approaching the part of most detective stories in which said detective has figured out the case and chosen to keep their loyal audience (me) in the dark. We’ll just have to see if I can catch up before everything is brought to light. I didn’t get much from Mel and TD, and the Farnsworth Farnsworth aside simply feels like a silly audio-drama bit, but Vivian and Barnaby were as fascinating as always. Much like Ford himself, I was particularly interested to hear that the cops had already questioned Barnaby about his tie clip. Assuming Ford or Claudette didn’t slip up, there’s only a couple of ways the cops could have grabbed that info: Sheilah could have tipped them off, or the cops could have placed it there themselves. We know that Vivian and Mo are very deep in cahoots—what if she gave him the tie clip to place at the scene, and Mo was the mysterious trespasser spotted by Citizen Jasper Fox? We’ve known from the beginning that Vivian is intent on placing the blame for Fitzgerald’s murder at Barnaby’s door, whether he’s guilty or not. Perhaps, due to their pre-nup, locking him up is her attempt to get him out of her life without losing access to his wealth. But if she’s working with Mo, why hire Fig and Ford? And what does our least favorite cop get out of this? Is it tit-for-tat for some help stealing the bar from Bixby? Who knows, maybe Vivian’s having an affair with Mo as well.

Also, speaking of tie clips, Vivian gave F. Scott one on the night of his murder. Coincidence?

Other Stray Thoughts: -Why was Leery’s Christmas so sad? Are the Persuad’s just poking fun at country music tropes, or did he really just lose a love? And does that have anything to do with anything? -Well, Barnaby’s middle name is “Ellis,” not “Eugene.” But you can’t win them all. -We know Mel has mob ties through her sister’s high school boyfriend Lucky Luciano. Does this play into any knowledge she has of Luigi? -Our little Ford’s ice-cold heart is slowly but surely melting and it’s a lovely bit of character development. Just in time for real-life Christmas. -I love Cliff and his friendship with Willie. He’s constantly lowering his expectations and she’s constantly limboing right under them nonetheless. -I desperately want to see this tap-dance adaption of The Grapes of Wrath. Like, what do you mean it will feature actual wrathful-looking grapes??

That’s all I have for these episode! Six more to go!

[caliburn-the-sword]

finished reading scarlet; last thoughts and reactions and ponderings

was about to be like "ew wtf did not want r*pe in MY y/a book" AND THEN HE SLIPPED HER AN I.D. TO ESCAPE

thorne is SO real for only being concerned about his jacket despite human bites being very dangerous lol

why are these werewolves acting like vamps

it's kind of nice how cool thorne is with lunars with all the lunar hate there is - i remember when reading cinder being apalled about how she generalised them all as corrupt

YES SCARLET KNOWS SHE KNOWS NOW

NO NOT GRANNY I'M LITERALLY IN STUDY PERIOD RN I CAN'T CRY (note: i managed not to cry in study period but god my eyes burned for a while lmao)

tf i thought wolf was just being possessive in like a protective way against ran and not just a plain old possessive way. he's honestly making me nervous rn like goodness i can literally feel scarlet's fear rn. STOP WITH YOUR I CAN FIX HIM DISEASE AND RUN (note: okay he got brain fucky wucky by mind control so this isn't him)

HOLY SHIT THEY'RE ALL FINALLY MEETING I'M FROTHING AT THE MOUTH

i think kai is going delulu. i bet his office isn't bugged and he's got a spy. literally since cinder my money has been on torin. but maybe huy

omg kai's recognition of cinder's sacrifice by going to the ball <3

gotta agree with everything cinder's saying about kai's marriage because it's everything i've been thinking since kai decided to marry levana. i wish he would see how it's a bandaid for a stab wound. he's barely fixing a short term problem, which is gonna have the same long term problem regardless

the girls (all current pov characters) ARE FIGHTING. not mad tho because i'm a messy bitch who lives for drama <3

"She'd had the bridge built for herself out of very special glass, so that she could watch (...) all without being observed herself" levana YOU MEAN A TWO WAY MIRROR??? don't go acting all superior you're not special

from what wolf has described of his Tragic Backstory there is NO way he ISN'T a virgin. i'm so sorry that was my only takeaway but i'm trying to distract myself

"We met less than a week ago and in that time I've done nothing but lie and cheat and betray you" FKSDHFSDK sounds JUST like ouat rumpelstiltskin and yet he's STILL healthier than him and not toxic LMAO

wait did wolf need to pretend betray scarlet without her knowing instead of just making THAT the plan because those supersoldiers can smell hormones?? i bet they can. i reckon he needed her to feel REAL fear (note: now that i think about it it's probably just the bioelectricity crap but also ONLY the thaumaturge would be able to detect that???)

if i keep having to read "alpha female" with my own two eyes, i'm going to need bleach. marissa meyer you owe me financial compensation for the psychological distress i've been caused. 3 is in fact 4 times too many. it is a crime that it was ever thought into existence

predictions for cress

didn't do this last time between cinder and scarlet but figured it would be fun!! you guys get to silently laugh about how wrong i am, no spoilers

first off, doc erland's place in africa becomes the home base and cinder starts her training

someone tries to recreate garan's device since it will be useful for the rebellion - could be a joint effort between cinder and cress since they have the hardware and software down respectively. idk who's gonna fill the last role of like. bio stuff and the surgeries tho but we'll see

MORE THORNE BACKSTORY

definitely more wolf pov chapters now that marissa no longer needs to make him dodgy

cress is at least a LITTLE bit delulu wackers bonkers cray z lost her marbles etc etc from being so isolated for so long. i would LOVE to get into that mindset and character voice. would make for a very interesting pov

on reading the blurb:

i'm REALLY fucking dumb it finally occurred to me that in rapunzel the hero falls from the tower and gets blinded by thorns. so that tells me exactly who carswell thorne is (rip to when i thought he was the prince from sleeping beauty cause that's embarrassing). i wonder if he gets ejected into space from the satellite and his eyeballs freeze out of his sockets or something

i wonder WHY cress would be locked up by the queen BEFORE she was even able to hack since she wouldn't have been useful then. my first thought was that glamour doesn't work on her like with shells but she's not a shell herself but that wouldn't make sense because the thaumaturges seemed surprised by cinder and michelle benoit so it can't be that. for the sake of my running joke of every fairy tale character either being related or knowing each other, i'm just gonna pin it down to her being somewhere in the family tree and leave it at that

can these people STOP getting separated from each other?? i can't handle it. from the blurb it seems like the boys got cut off from the girls??? and then kai is also separated from all of them lol. this is a prediction only in the sense that i'm trying to guess who's getting separated from who. i think it would tie well into separating everyone from their love interest like poor cinder

i wonder if this will be the book that we meet princess winter since with royal etiquette and all that her presence will p r o b a b l y be required during all them wedding preparations and what not

@eddisfargo @francforever @winterrhayle @winterpinetrees

[sleepy-seal]

{hi gale!! this'll be coming in waves so I don't flood your inbox too hard lmao. anyways part 1}

LORE Gale

What was the inspiration for his blue arc?

How was it putting ocean through every trial imaginable lmao

Not exactly LOREgale but why was Swap!Gale's hell Walmart. secondary why was shell in hell in the first place

At what point did the car dealership/rental service/whatever in Nebraska realize that something was Certainly And Extremely Wrong with Gale

Is he ever able to get therapy

Do you think when it was all calm he got some shitty storemade cake to celebrate

Did you ever want them to Go Insane?

Gale and Acher. can I ask about ocean's thoughts on the strange tiny murderous robot turned silly not-so-murderous robot throughout the arcs

Did anyone from Gale's old town wonder where they went?

Does he ever casually turn into a cat and then both people for a day

Has Gale ever gone to the ocean. because I think shell might like that. what was it like for them during Ocean Trip TM

OH BOY!!!!! MY FAVORITE

- the inspiration was partly inspired by, well, the pawn promotion. by becoming a queen lore gale became much more powerful than acher, and therefore much more dangerous. blue was kind of an improvised decision, as one of the main articles of clothing gale was wearing was . well, blue. so i kind of leaned into that a bit. the other part was well. the magnus archives. i made lore gale's character way more jarchivist coded than i intended so i leaned into it a bit, especially with gale progressively Losing their sense of humanity and their struggle trying to accept it.

- it was very fun lmao. they are my webkinz doll i am soaking with milk and throwing against the wall.

more answers under the cut because this is Long and i have a lot of things to say

- swap!gale's hell is walmart because 1) my partner moth goes there frequently and laments about how much of a labyrinth it is and 2) have you Seen walmart?? also the reason why sale is in hell is. um. fraud?? and also being a willing accomplice in and also enabling some of moth's war crimes.

- probably the moment gale walked into the dealership. they were glowing and sweaty and looked like they just got out of a fight (which they did) and immediately asked for a rental which. uh. definitely set people off. also their fingers were blue.

- maybe! once they are financially capable of it at least.

- probably! it would probably be a time when gale isn't in Stress Baking Mode but also too fatigued to make anything so they just buy a single cake slice and eat that. it tastes terrible but it's probably the most comforting thing they've had in a while

- yes. absolutely. 100%

- okay so i will try to simplify it enough in a way that Makes sense but also gives some insight to their thought process.

> gale under the belief that acher Really Is Moth or close to it and treats them as such, upset that "moth" is not really moth. they are also afraid of her

> they abandon "moth" and cut them off for a brief while, sabotaging its plan

> pure fear. they don't want to die to "moth". they briefly consider murder but quickly write it off

> truce. a calm period where gale thinks there may be a chance of redemption and rekindling

> moth comes back. he takes his eyes off acher and focuses more on shell's friend

> neutral, almost unfamiliar. acher asserts that they don't Actually care about anyone and gale believes them. since the real moth came back they can focus on them instead of the doppelgänger of the friend.

> rocky. they are on uneven ground and since the truce is technically off, it doesn't take much for acher to get on their bad side. this is probably the stage where gale is at their most unstable and willing to hurt back.

> truce, but better. gale hasn't quite forgiven acher yet. they can't. but at the very least they trust him enough to try again.

> trust. acher is a friend. they put their full faith in acher on improving and growing, even if forgiveness is not in sight yet.

- sorta? there were people gale knew before they ran away that considered gale a friend, but not the other way around. some of them think that they probably died, and some of them think they ran away because life was just too hard. their family misses them technically, but they also blame ocean for being so selfish.

- YES. 100%. turns out there are multiple benefits to being a cat. 1. is nobody will question you when you are annoying, because that's Just Cat Things.

- THEY HAVE! gale visited gem's cousin jeremy once or twice. he lives in california with his boyfriend, and they occasionally come by for family reuinions. mostly to see gale. but gale LOVES the ocean. they didn't get to see it much but it's always so big and they don't stop talking about the phenomenon that occurs in the sea.

[sylvies-chen]

finished tonight’s episode of the morning show (spoilers ahead!!) and I have so many thoughts

first off, because this was the centre of the episode, nicole beharie fucking CRUSHED IT and that whole interview chris conducted with sybil was wild from start to finish. never has dialogue been written as such a roller coaster damn! she kept it classy but totally fried cybil. I can’t say I feel all that bad.

I am DRIPPING in cory takes. as for cory, I do think putting sybil on alex unfiltered would have been a bad idea, but he could have handled it a lot better. he barely scraped by with that master plan. I think it’s just that he always seems to be doing either the right thing for the wrong reasons or the wrong thing for the right reasons. I don’t even think he’s able yet to do both at once lol, but alas that’s where his nuance lies. and that’s when you know what he’s doing which I’m not sure we do half of the time. mans is a MYSTERY. he has his disappointing moments and his legendary moments, and his chaos is in the battle between those two sides of him which I think we’re going to see more of this season. I hope so, because he’s such a hard character to get a beat on sometimes and is so well written that it really keeps you on your toes guessing as to his motivations. why is he so hell bent on selling to paul? I’m so curious about that, mainly because I get the feeling it isn’t solely for the money and glory. there has got to be something else there because I don’t know if cory’s ever been this desperate.

We’ve gotten somewhat of a confirmation that the history between stella and paul isn’t one of sexual misconduct or assault, but that makes me even more curious as to what her grievance with him is. did he steal her ideas? screw her over financially? idk, and I know stella is currently on her “fuck cory” shit rn as she should be because he’s not exactly in her corner lately, but I want to see her actually tell him what happened!!

mia continues to slay like honestly she’s one of my favs??? everything she did made sense this episode, a real queen if I ever saw one!!

also I missed bradley :( okay see you all next week!

[geeeztari]

Raising Funds for Stability

hi all, checking in again to share our umpteenth fundraiser for stability! this is my first time posting about our situation here on Tumblr but now that i see it as the superior platform **for sake of i haven’t been here for a min and i haven’t been forced to see things i didn’t want to (yet), i am led to believe more of the right people will see it here. but to begin, my husband and i met again after 13 years. we’d met initally in Kindergarten/1st grade, and it’s only a bit fuzzy since we don’t have pictures to crossreference but we know it’s us from back then. the memorable event hails from playtime, we used to play house together and we had a thing back then, innocent enough. but we had a routine of kissing in the cubbies under our jackets, and one day we were caught. and from there unfortunately that is where the story ended up until a few years ago. he was moved to a different state and school and i stayed in our hometown, unfortunately and fortunately. since, if i had moved around and not been in the area, we’d have never met again through Okcupid lol. the site i loathed but at the time, i was searching and i was willing to look EVERYWHERE. 

But alas, i lost my job due to racism in early 2020 and dropped out of college, like 5 months before we met and it’s been a shit show (financially)  ever since. I realized later rather than sooner, that i’ve been working since i was 16 just for it to boil down to “how comfortable i can be for white people” i have nothing to show for all the years of corporate slavery other than the ingrained aptitude to be corgial. albeit, a very useful skill especially in a buisness setting, i saw that the setting was not there for me. i firmly believe that customer service is important, i just do not believe in a “Job”, i only believe in Careers. My careeer of choice? ART! my husbands career of choice? ART! we are true artists and want to show the world the realness in that. no tikkytok dances/music or uncreative scripted content, just overall - there’s literally no good anything out. everything is a PSA for someones personal agenda, which has now become the MAIN agenda. we are here to break that. we are here to show the world better. that different can still be better without all the extra internet pandering nonsense. please join us in sharing so that the right eyes can see. we have been fighting 3 years for stability, please help us in getting on our feet in time for next year. we have many a plan and idea, we just need to oppurtunity and space to shine. thank you in advance for any and all help, and for reading this far! i appreciate the heck outta ya. until next time! 

xx tari

Here’s the fundraiser! 

and this is the first music video we were able to make while we were living outside. it is nothing close to perfect, but i believe we both did very well with this proejct considering our circumstance. im putting this here for a few reasons, but mainly so that you all can see what we do as oppsed to just hearing about what we do.

[mackeralsauce]

hey all here's some vent art. no TWs are needed i think since there's nothing graphic or scary

will write under the "read more" line about what's been bothering me. just keep in mind it will have discussions of death, insomnia, anxiety, unsafe environments, stress, ED, etc.

things haven't been great.

during the day i'm typically fine. i'm not sure why it is, maybe the sunlight makes me feel safer, or it's because more people are awake so i am able to keep myself distracted with conversation. at night though i have issues with insomnia, it's been like that my whole life. it's partially restlessness/strange internal clock, but it's also because of my anxiety and overthinking.

lately these issues have been worse because of everything going on. due to how chaotic my life has been i have not been able to get financial aid for the college i was planning on attending, so i had to cancel said courses. all the adults in my life have always applied pressure on me to go to college because of how "bright" i am. even if i don't feel much respect for most of them (due to how they've treated me, i promise i have good reason), i still have been conditioned to see myself as a failure for this. even if i go to college at a later date, or even if i end up successful and happy without it, there will always be that lingering feeling of shame. most of my irl acquaintences are always posting and talking about their move-in dates and classes. i want to be happy for them, but all i can feel is a feeling of failure towards myself.

ever since my mammaw's death, it hasn't been great. i didn't always get along with her but truth is she raised me more than anyone else in my life, or at least, she raised me the best out of anyone in my life. she was always there for me and was always looking out for me. if i ever didn't know what to do in real-life situations, she typically had solid advice. she's gone. i know that logically but this is the first time i've lost someone important. i can't process her being gone, especially considering my own difficulties with processing the concept of death and existentialism. i can't ask her for advice anymore, she would have known the best how to deal with everything. the thing is, if i had some peace and quiet, i'd probably be able to process and cope with everything much easier. i haven't had peace and quiet. my family has been at each others throats since what happened. i dread every passing day because i know i could end up having it ruined from everyone infighting.

i can barely fall asleep anymore. trying to just leads me to fighting off thinking about mammaw, fighting off existential dread, or fighting off the thought that i am not doing enough. i need to be productive or i'm wasting what limited time i have on this earth. yet i don't have the energy to create. i've been very subsceptible to posts that can affect someone negatively (fear-mongering, ones that promote negative habits such as starving oneself, etc.), i haven't been able to operate as normal (or normal for me at least), i've been a mess. during the day i'm fine but at night everything breaks i guess.

oh, and one more thing. the person who killed her is pleading not guilty. i've been sickened by that ever since hearing about it. there was so much blatant evidence, and they still want to try and pretend like it never happened. the fact that people can act like that appals me.

i want to rot in my chair but that won't get anything done. hopefully the energy drink i had today will push me to do something.

[imladybbq]

Valorant: Prepare for Battle 

Electronic sports, or e-sports, are organized online games in which teams or professional players compete against one another in a variety of online games. E-sports, like traditional sports, feature passionate players who put in a lot of practice, engage in competitions, and compete for glory, popularity, and cash prizes (Taylor 2018 p. 1). Over the years, esports has grown a significant popularity among many people, creating a global community of fans. There are various genres of e-sports games that you can find, such as first-person shooters, multiplayer online battle arenas (MOBAs), real-time strategy games (RTS), sports simulators, combat games, and more. Personally, I am not a big fan of gaming, nor am I a gamer person. However, Valorant is perhaps one of the games that I truly enjoy playing. I got into it during the lockdown period when my friends insisted to try it, and I have been hooked ever since. It is a free first-person shooter (FPS) game released in June 2020, developed by an established gaming company called Riot Games.

What is Valorant All About? 

The game is super hectic with numerous elements, which involve complex strategic elements, and a unique blending of skills and gunplay (IGN 2022). Due to this, it has captured the attention of millions of gamers worldwide. The gameplay is super exhilarating and skill-based, with an emphasis on strategy and teamwork. Each team of 5 players will get a chance to be in both attacking and defending teams, and each round demands strategic planning, communication, and execution (IGN 2022). Hence, it creates a dynamic and captivating gameplay by integrating tactical gunplay of classic shooters with unique character skills. 

What makes Valorant stands out the most is that the players get to pick a character through the agent system. Each agent has special skills or power abilities that players can strategically use to their advantage to accomplish particular goals or assist other agents (IGN 2022). The game provides a large range of agents with a multitude of team formations and abilities, from aggressive explosives and surveillance tools to defensive smokes and healing abilities. Next, there is also a range of game modes that players can choose from, from competitive to casual mode (IGN 2022), which can cater to the player’s mood.  

A list of some of the agents from Valorant, where each has its own power and abilities.

Reaching Worldwide 

This game has built an incredibly active and enthusiastic community that is still continuously expanding. Being a free-to-play game, Valorant is easily accessible, which contributes to its increasing popularity. Players from various backgrounds can take part, regardless of their financial limitations. Furthermore, the game's multicultural cast of agents includes individuals from different cultures promoting inclusivity and representation in gaming. 

Other than that, the game also gains popularity with the help of live-streaming websites, such as Twitch and YouTube. These platforms offer viewers a simple and quick way to watch live games and tournaments, as well as a tool for players to broadcast their gameplay. Both players and viewers are able to communicate directly through live streaming, which promoted interaction and a sense of community. Plus, many players also use these platforms to educate others on gameplay through tutorials and gaming hacks. This typically emphasizes strategic planning on using the agent’s abilities to the fullest potential.  

Valorant Going Professional 

Thanks to the accessibility of live-streaming platforms, it creates a global audience, which attracts media, marketers and sponsors to organize and invest in professional e-sports tournaments (Taylor 2018). Since its debut, Valorant has quickly made a name for itself as a dominant e-sport. As a result, they have established a competitive ecosystem through The Valorant Champions Tour, a worldwide tournament series that features the greatest teams in the world competing with each other. This drives millions of people to watch live e-gaming events (Taylor 2018), and they have audience numbers that are comparable to those of traditional sporting events.

I believe Valorant has successfully built its identity in the market due to its creative marketing efforts to pique interest among gamers globally. The developer, Riot Games, started with captivating teaser campaigns through the storytelling of the world of Valorant. Hence, the gaming community became hyped up with speculation and discussion in response to these advertising tactics, which in turn instil eagerness among the viewers.  

On top of that, I believe one of their strongest marketing plans is their effort towards community participation. They actively take into account players’ feedback and incorporate it into their game design. They encourage people to share their ideas and opinions based on their gaming experience, which notably improves their platform. This allows their community to feel heard and appreciated, hence promoting a sense of community and involvement. For this reason, they foster loyalty among players due to the community-centric approach, drawing in both amateur and professional gamers. 

Overall, with its captivating gameplay, complex strategic elements, and vibrant e-sports community, Valorant has completely changed the competitive gaming landscape. The unique game design incorporating tactical gunplay, distinctive agent powers, and community collaboration built an engaging experience that appeals to both competitive and casual players. We can see that Valorant has clearly made a lasting impression on the gaming industry with its continuously expanding community and dedication to creating a global e-sports environment, securing its position as one of the top-tier competitive games of our time. 

References: 

IGN 2022, Beginner’s Guide to Valorant, IGN, viewed 11 June 2023 <https://www.ign.com/wikis/valorant/Beginner's_Guide_to_Valorant>. 

Taylor, TL 2018, ‘Broadcasting ourselves’ (chapter 1), in Watch Me Play: Twitch and the Rise of Game Live Streaming, Princeton University Press, pp.1-23 

[5thwavfemme]

“I hear a voice sometimes, but it’s not generally distressing these days. I feel like I can keep myself safe and make sound decisions these days, but I want support before I live independently in subsidized housing, which is a daydream of mine for the future....when? I'm open to whenever I'm ready, whether that day comes or not. A group environment may be ideal for me long-term. The entity in my body/mind is not as agitating as it used to be. I’ve gotten a lot better in this phenomenal hospital, particularly with my medication regimen, and the voice has become more therapeutic albeit still sometimes bothersome but when it’s like that, I fight back against it by speaking up now. Part of why I'm going to an ALF and not a shelter is that I don't feel able to live entirely independently at this time, but I also don't think I need to continue being in a locked facility. I'm ready to start living my day-to-day wellness plan and building up stable time where I'm sober from drugs other than my prescription medications (I say that because they're drugs too, but they're drugs I need to be sane and functional and healthy and content.) I’ll continue to speak up if the entity in my mind/body is an issue, and am going into an ALF so as to maximize my chances of staying recovered while in the real world as I prepare for the transition to independent living in the future if that day ever comes. I'm really interested in the "Hearing Voices" movement, and learning more about shamans - religion is a big part of my life and identity. I have been working with my treatment team to develop a relapse prevention and wellness plan, as well as a list of coping strategies and activities to make life worth living. I don’t want to spend my life in a hospital when all I need is residential treatment, continuous/ongoing sobriety, psychiatry, and the absence of abuse/ongoing trauma in order to be happy, healthy, and well. I’ve gotten so much better here. For the first time in years I’m not suicidal and I'm speaking up to some people's faces about what my reality is like, and I’m eager to live the simple life I want of running, going to farmer's markets, studying, window shopping, and visiting libraries and museums on top of a daily run. (Those are the things I can't access here - my daily life has and will have other parts.) I’m not from Baltimore, but it seems like a really cool city. I’m excited to check out the aquarium, the capital Jewish museum, and maybe attend a concert someday. I also love creative writing and fashion, and am so excited to spend the money I already have on some little things to enrich my life like clothes I love #minimalistchicwardrobe #ipad #makeup #skincare #planner #artmarkers #journal #notebooks. I know I may not have much of a disposable income while in an ALF, but with my basic material needs met and any generosity I am gifted with, I am confident I will be 100% content with my financial situation assuming we can work out the food situation. I'm a vegetarian for ethical reasons, and sustainable eating has been important to me since my foray into veganism into middle school, which was fueled by my concern for the environment and the animals victimized by factory farming. I pray for a safe and happy future and what DBT taught me to call a life worth living." 

[xxmolls]

***I just wrote this long ass post, posted it, and accidentally deleted the whole thing less than 20 min later. Here's a rewritten version.*** As long as I'm in the (ill-advised) habit of posting work-in-progress songs I'm writing and then rambling about the inspiration and writing process and things I need to fix... Here is a song I wrote tonight. It still has some work to be done on it. The recording is shitty... my voice and breath support have been struggling because of my recent bouts of anaphylaxis... but whatever. Song inspiration / spilling my guts about recent things going on in my life + songwriting nerdery + lyrics under the cut (it long):

My sister has been with a shitty abusive boyfriend for over 6 years now. He will do something fucked up and terrible, they will break up, and my family will be so excited that we are finally getting rid of him.

Each time, he will write her whining about how much he misses her, how he loves her, how she's the only one he has in his life so he's lonely and sad and he needs her... ... and she immediately goes running back to him.

About a month ago we were so hopeful that they had finally broken up for good. He had some manic break, kicked my sister out of their house, moved in some other girl, and cut off all contact with my sister. She moved back in with my parents, and started working on bettering her life.

She got a really good therapist to work with on her trauma (finally), she was legitimately sober for the first time in like... years, she got a job to support herself (he has purposefully made her financially dependent on him for years)... and in the absence of being yelled at and berated by him constantly, she became really pleasant to be around. I actually liked hanging out with her for the first time in... well... ever, and started to hope that maybe we could become friends and strengthen our relationship.

I have never been close with her. For most of our lives, I have felt more like someone who has to help take care of an incredibly fucked up and incompetent toddler than I have felt like a sister to her (at least from my point of view). But as she started to flourish and heal in her distance from him, our relationship began to strengthen. I even thought I may be able to rely and depend on her in the future instead of always being the one she relied on.

Of course, on the very first day of her new job, and after 4 weeks of ghosting her, he contacted her again. He said the usual things, how he missed her and loved her, and how lonely he was.

She immediately packed up her things and went running back to him, no matter how much our parents and I, basically her only stable support system, begged her not to (though we learned long ago that nothing we say to her makes a difference in what she chooses to do).

That was a few days ago, so I've been pretty upset about that. And tonight apparently that resulted in a song!

What I plan to work on in the song (since I do not want to deal with what I need to work on in the real life situation right now): The melody needs some work.

I need to get more comfortable with some of the vocal things (though to be fair I did just write it tonight). In the recording you can hear it's shaky in parts.

In particular, I think I need to start in a head voice in the pre-chorus and then switch quickly to chest voice. As my voice is pretty worn out right now, I am hoping after it heals and rests a bit I will be more capable vocally of making those voice switches more seamless and less shitty sounding. The bridge is similar to the pre-chorus and has the same issue. In the recording, I lost my place in the lyrics and ended up half-assing and shitifying the head voice part, so Future!Molly needs to work on that.

I'm also trying to find ways to make the verses sound more distinct from the chorus. They are virtually the same melody at the moment (and maybe the same chords). I think they need to sound more distinct. I don't know that I necessarily have to mess with the verse melody too much to do that. But that is a way I could change things.

I have been playing power chords on the verses and full open chords on the chorus to make them sound more distinct. I also think I could try to make the verses a bit quieter ... especially after the 1st chorus, so there's kind of an emotional jolt with that abrupt shift.

The song structure is a little wonky. I thought the song sounded too repetitive and that I repeated the chorus too much (you would think that since I have Tourette's I like repetitive songs, but they actually drive me completely up the wall). To deal with this I took out a chorus, made the 2nd verses go straight into the bridge and then from the bridge to the last chorus.

I don't know if that's the best way to do things for this song. It is certainly shorter that way... but doesn't drive me insane with the repetitiveness so that's a plus.

I also may change the very last line. I am playing around with the timing of it, and I also don't know if it's the best way to end the song with "I don't want to fall for you." My sister (if the song is about her) already fell for that motherfucker long ago unfortunately... so that's not a very logical ending (though is logic really necessary in a song about this shituation...). POST EDIT: wait, just realized “I don’t want to fall for you” has a double meaning. We’re good. That probably works fine. Could even title the song “Fall” or “Fall for You”

Anyway, after that long ramble about this song and things that Future!Molly is going to work on... here are the lyrics (if anyone is interested): Back 2 U (tentative title) I feel strong like my mind knows right from wrong I worked hard to stay this calm and clear-eyed Did my time even though my only crime was my mental decline running wild But you need chaos to thrive And you need to hurt to stay alive And you feel better when you're high and you want me to be flying by your side When you call I don't feel strong at all You know I'm gonna crawl back to you When you call you know I'm in your thrall But I don't want to take this fall for you Runs through my head that I'd be better off dead so all those pretty words you said would cast no spell They sink right in and pull me back to you again I think you're branded on my skin and you can tell All those little things you whispered to me All those little flaws you held over me All the dignity you squeezed out of me I'm terrified you'll never set me free 'Cause when you call I don't feel strong at all You know I'm gonna crawl back to you When you call you know I'm in your thrall but I don't want to take this fall for you I don't want to take this fall for you I don't want to fall for you

[pmmechanicalny4e]

PM Mechanical

P&M Mechanical, Inc. was one of the first HVAC businesses in the Fairfield and Westchester counties in 2000. Turn on the air conditioner to solve the problem. Among the most vocal supporters are well-known energy firms like Con Edison and Eversource. HVAC contractors in New York Green thermostats are finding their way into more homes. Do you want a security system set up? Kindly get in touch with P&M Mechanical, Inc. right away. We will finish the project regardless of the cost.

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Our HVAC services are unmatched, as many satisfied customers in the New York and New Jersey areas can attest to. We should have no problem completing the task before the deadline with these extra details. Our ability to surpass client expectations in a timely manner has been the secret to our success. No matter how big or small the task, we can handle it. If this arrangement is ever contested in court, it will be fiercely defended. You'll have to prove your value in some way. If we are not able to unite and stay consistent in our devotion to our principles and goals, all we accomplish will be in vain. Our website contains a plethora of information for anyone in Connecticut who is interested in learning more about HVAC systems. Our support staff is available to you at any moment if you have any queries or worries. Our HVAC business in Connecticut enjoys an excellent reputation because we genuinely care about each and every one of our customers. Right now, our only goal is to obtain one of the fifty states. Are you trying to find a reliable HVAC technician? It's in New York City that you should be. If the issue doesn't go away, the HVAC system could need to be repaired or replaced. Are you having trouble finding a trustworthy HVAC technician in the New York–Connecticut area? You can reach P&M Mechanical Industries, Inc. for further details. Please get in touch with us if you ever find yourself in need of an HVAC specialist. Help is always available when you need it. Prominent energy firms like Con Edison and Eversource are among the most vocal advocates. Green thermostats are finding their way into more homes.

[tremendousdefendorsweets]

What the Oxford English Dictionary Doesn't Tell You About replica bags designer

The reproduction bag fad is very little new.​ I try to remember After i was a younger teenager eager to search her finest, I assumed possessing a replica bag was the last word fashion assertion.​ I bought my really initial designer duplicate bag from a local retailer.​ It was a traditional Gucci tote that I thought was so chic and sophisticated.​ I remember clutching tightly into the handles and strutting down the street.​ I felt like the belle on the ball!

I've considering the fact that realized the notion of owning a reproduction bag is a bit controversial.​ All things considered, the initial designer usually puts their blood, sweat and tears into each individual layout, and knocks-off companies just take the credit as their unique.​ While I bought my replica bag many years back, I nevertheless replicate fondly on every one of the amazing moments I had with that bag.​

Simultaneously, I know how important it truly is to protect the effort and dedication of designers, so for that purpose I do not buy duplicate baggage any more.​ Even now, It is really tricky to disregard the price tag of the primary style and design, and many times its just further than our financial achieve.​

Due to this, I feel replica bags have their position in The style sector.​ It's real that there are negatives to possessing a replica like inadequate high quality and material, however, if worn respectfully they are often add-ons that assist us build special and fantastic appears to be like.​ In addition, I believe It is really probable to locate a middle floor - a single could however take pleasure in the initial models devoid of acquiring knock-offs.​

Although I do not personally individual replica luggage any more, I am aware Many of us who do, and to use an idiom, ‘all of it depends upon the person’.​ For a few, the only real difference between an reliable and replica bag is the cost tag.​ They don't care about recognition or quality, They simply want to save a couple of bucks what ever way they are able to.​

I can absolutely empathize with this particular standpoint.​ All things considered, I have been there myself, planning to truly feel gorgeous and trendy in my replica Gucci bag.​ But I also comprehend the crucial part of the designer and the value of shielding their rights as well as their effort.​

I keep in mind The very first time I noticed a pretend bag.​ I was shopping in my neighborhood mall and stumbled throughout this beautiful designer handbag.​ I was so mesmerised by its natural beauty which i promptly assumed it was genuine.​ Tiny did I understand that it was truly a counterfeit! I can still remember the intensity of your disappointment when I found the truth.​

To start with, I believed to myself, how can anyone get away with making copies of genuine designer bags? Then I realised which the demand from customers for designer products has developed exponentially, and counterfeiters are Benefiting from this.​ Phony luggage are just about everywhere now, and it's definitely sad to think about.​

I am certain Many people have bought a bogus designer bag without realising it.​ After all, the counterfeiters have their Qualified touch.​ It's challenging to tell the difference between a true as well as a pretend bag.​ Even knowledgeable consumers is usually fooled.​

Nonetheless, There are several notify-tale indications like the value tag, and the standard of the leather-based applied, that can help determine a bogus.​ In case you are afraid of staying duped, do your exploration and Make certain that the bag you might be buying is the true offer.​

I feel guilty being aware of that there is an marketplace that normally takes benefit of individuals.​ But the reality is, lots of consumers have their own good reasons for getting phony luggage.​ Some folks won't be able to pay for originals, while others are searhing for an excellent offer.​

Adequate folks have been ripped off and duped by buying phony baggage.​ It's best to avoid counterfeits completely.​ Legitimate, They could glimpse seemingly genuine and experience high-class, but which is only about to final for so long.​ Reduced-top quality resources and lousy craftsmanship suggest your phony bag will never stand the examination of time.​

What is actually worse is, purchasing a faux bag does not only advantage the seller but supports a much larger, legal underworld.​ Apart from that, providing phony products can end you up in jail if you get caught, so It is really always finest to remain clear of fakes.​

So, when you are at any time pondering purchasing a designer bag, I'd urge you to order only from authorised dealers.​ That way, you could ensure It is really authentic and Safe and sound.​ In addition, with all the money you help save from buying fakes, you'll have adequate to order an excellent initial.​ So It really is always ideal being cautious in creating purchases.​

I suppose I’m fake bags online trapped in the middle, acquiring found each side of the coin.​ I may not carry a designer tote anymore, but I'm able to recognize the value, craft and high-quality that went into it.​ And when I do see an individual carrying a gorgeous original piece, I'm able to’t enable but admire the effort and creativeness at the rear of it.​

So, On the subject of replica baggage, what really defines them? Is it the craftsmanship, the originality, or the bit of intellect that goes as well as it? Or could it be only about the cost tag?

In the end, I feel replica luggage needs to be regarded as vogue statements that needs to be highly regarded and appreciated, much like the initial items.​ After all, they assist us spend less devoid of compromising our type in any way, and for that they need to be considered a valuable addition to any one’s assortment of baggage.​

Getting a deeper think about the matter of duplicate baggage, there’s way more to them than just knock-offs of originals.​ Some knock-off brand names have become very creative, working difficult to create handbags with extraordinary craftsmanship and cocktails of components that would not Ordinarily be found on a conventional designer piece.​ They attract inspiration from the original and think of styles that are extremely trendy - showcasing their own exclusive magnificence instead of just copying a style from in other places.​

Increasingly more, the fashion industry is observing a growth of replicated patterns attaining traction, as An increasing number of shoppers glimpse to include a novel contact to their wardrobe without breaking the bank.​ Of course, the knock-off market carries its share of small high quality luggage, but even duplicate bags arrive in various grades now.​

It is true that designer originals will constantly keep on being originals, but the marketplace for knock-offs has grown appreciably over time, providing The patron bit of head though however having the ability to Specific their own individual model at a portion of the fee.​ Personally, I do think there’s a certain attract the knock-off sector that could’t be denied.​ Everybody would like to shave a couple of hundred of the fee of purchasing a designer bag, so it’s safe to express that reproduction bags are going to be all over for really some time.​

As well as, There are many of various thoughts around the make a difference.​ Lots of people may argue that buying knock-offs supports the unethical tactics of lower price shops, while others may well propose that it encourages creative imagination and helps to carry up the standard of manner parts.​ Some could possibly be totally indifferent to the make a difference, but No matter, it’s a thing really worth speaking about and mulling more than.​

At the end of the day, Every person has their own personal viewpoint on duplicate luggage, and I’m no exception.​ About I’d want to stay clear of the knock-off marketplace, I’ll acknowledge that there are occasions when I come across myself waving for just a taxi with a replica bag by my side.​ Without a doubt it’s a private selection that every of us need to make for ourselves, And that i’m positive it’s a topic that may keep on to get the supply of numerous debates.​

[crispyflowerfury]

Why You Should Forget About Improving Your louis vuitton outlet

Gosh, Have you ever seen the reproduction handbags recently? It truly is like stepping into One more entire world! I can not believe that how incredible They appear, almost like the true deal.​ The craftsmanship is just unbelievable.​ Each and every time I choose 1 out in general public, I get a lot of compliments! It's Virtually like going for walks about that has a work of artwork.​ I am telling you, purchasing a replica bag is an extremely wise financial commitment.​

Not forgetting, the cost of these luggage is way more very affordable than receiving an genuine designer tote.​ I can definitely louis vuitton outlet stretch my spending plan when I select to invest within a duplicate bag.​ Additionally, I don't have to worry about any repairs or repairs – these luggage are constructed like tanks! They can arise to nearly anything I put them through.​

I have even amazed some persons every time they've asked to see my bag in additional element.​ Confident, at the outset glance, you'll be able to tell it is a replica but up close it seriously appears like the real thing.​ That's since the creators of duplicate baggage are so obsessed with what they do.​ They match the main points and craftsmanship of the first right down to a tee!

As well as, I am mindful where I shop.​ I've observed some fantastic internet sites which offer reputable, top quality variations of designer luggage.​ You would be surprised at exactly how much exploration and function they put into their solutions.​

In addition to that, I usually feel so stylish Once i carry 1 of these about city! It's a classic piece of arm sweet, but mainly because it's a duplicate bag, it diffuses all of the drama that comes with hauling a designer bag.​ Alternatively, I'm able to love the beauty of these baggage with no of your pressure of carrying all over a pricey merchandise.​

And Once i can, I acquire a number of distinctive variations of each and every bag.​ Like that, I'm able to wear several different seems in exactly the same fashion! Could you envision, a crocodile tote one day plus a quilted tote the next? Perfection.​

Talking of, I just lately obtained a reproduction shoulder bag and I simply can't get ample of it.​ The craftsmanship is superb and It can be really easy to hold all-around.​ From errands to an evening out, it's so adaptable.​ My close friends are constantly asking me wherever I received it.​

I also just bought a reproduction duffel bag for my approaching journeys.​ It appears so deluxe and posh! I am so psyched to point out it off the next time I am on the airplane.​

Oh, and did I mention that duplicate luggage are definitely eco-helpful? It is really a great way to look good and still be variety towards the setting.​

Actually, I simply cannot get plenty of of those baggage.​ Through the glance to the feel to the price, They can be just a smart expense.​ Replica luggage are my go-to for completing any glance.​

On the subject of locating a perfect bag without the need of breaking the lender, practically nothing beats a duplicate handbag.​ No matter whether It is really an day to day tote or a Unique celebration shoulder bag, designer-inspired duplicate luggage are great for any problem.​ They delay For some time and nevertheless appear fresh.​ Plus, It can be an eco-helpful method to glance very good although preserving some money.​

But regardless of whether I just carry mine around my home, it still places a smile on my facial area! Each time I unzip a replica bag, It is really like getting a action again in time.​ These bags just make me really feel so assured and trendy.​

What do you think that? Have you ever tried out a replica bag?

I completely adore it Once i look for a modern, stylish and one of a kind pretend bag! It's just that I know deep down inside that it is not the true deal, but it nonetheless appears to be fairly incredible.​ Now, ahead of I plunge much too deep into this subject, allow me to just admit The truth that some faux bags appear to be They are really authentic originals, while others.​.​.​ not a great deal! This is exactly why it is important to buy from reliable dealers.​

It's like a bet obviously! You have to be really thorough and know your stuff in advance of purchasing any faux bag.​ Usually, you could find yourself receiving scammed or with something which looks absolutely nothing like the actual detail.​ I remember The very first time I bought a pretend bag, it seemed really cheap and didn't even feature the correct lock and keys.​ Fortuitously, I used to be capable to return it, right before it absolutely was way too late!

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[redpillfuturist215]

My final planned major futurist post

This is the final major futurist post I plan on sharing on any social media, here on Tumblr taking out key personal things since as far as I know, no friend follows me here. On Facebook I will separate them, not shared there yet, but here they are in a single post. Below is just text so before we begin, here’s the major one I made with supporting links https://redpillfuturist215.tumblr.com/post/676094553119490048/futurism-esp-human-immortality-and-time-travel This next series of posts are the last things I plan on talking about anything futurism in this timeline, extremely watered down because 1 there’s no point to ever share anything unless I know definitively, I’ll be able to achieve said objectives which brings me to 2 resulting in having the power to be untouchable by anyone who might want to prevent me from doing so. I’m sharing a few more ideas, just for relevancy though. As I mentioned before, per my childhood trauma and high ACE score (4 or more takes away 20 years on average) combined with black people and esp. men already having the lowest lifespan of Americans I’ll be lucky to make it to 50-ish, a realization I made last year Two contingencies in soft planning Cryopreservation through the Alcor Life Extension Foundation – setting up legal, savings/investments, a life insurance policy etc. My own organization with a simple objective of one day going back and providing immortality to the founder, all employees and their designees I had another recent revelation that one day future technology should allow us to live out secondary lives through an infinite number of “avatars” through which, among other things, several will be positioned to befriend my original timeline friends and make new ones. The majority of my OG friends can never know my true identity, only 3 will have that privilege. If successful, as much as it sucks, I can’t change the early stuff because it’s what motivates me to enact this plan in the first place, but I can accelerate things. In such a new timeline I would get red pilled in summer 2013 and fake my death in 2014 shortly after getting out of the army. He will get a new body and identity followed by real therapy and the love/family structure he deserves, initially provided by other versions of me because another brutal red pill I’ve taken in the darkest of years is that no one will love me more than me. Aside from that, I was such a huge indoctrinated/mental slave to these abusive gaslighting black female relatives (Stockholm syndrome, at times desperately seeking sympathy from) and to a degree am still struggling with and it’s something only a real man can rescue me from, of which future versions of me will be … militantly, prehistorically, unapologetically. Taking it back One of these will look out for me minimally from childhood (financially, transport, try to keep me from doing feminine ass shit in my youth and invade people’s privacy, prevent me from youthful fuckups including criminal behavior and turn me into a more squared away soldier (particularly for combat) and prevent mistakes I made down range too. Yes I have a list. Some remote telepathic manipulation will also be employed. Another important reason for taking advantage of alternate me’s is to have some of them take the burden off OG me, IE prevent me from acting out my sexual trauma to spare me from that, again/as always, without OG knowing their true identities. I chose this as a workaround because the actions more or less still take place, so the memories are still created (futurist motivation), they’ll just later be telepathically shared with OG. Why fake my suicide at the end of 2014? Because aside from “having the honor to fulfill my duty”, my POS mom will then be living alone (old, poor, powerless) and while I know enough now to know she doesn’t truly give a shit about me (single mother psychology, I’m just an emotional and financial husband substitute) I want her to suffer. It’s not worth mentioning in CTL but from the 90’s onward she will be chronically fucked with in ever increasing levels as she ages. Future me’s will revel in it. Every act of abuse, threats, gaslighting etc. (of any timeline) will be retaliated against by future me’s in my final act. An eye for an eye, esp. the sexual mutilation/facilitation and turning a blind eye of rape then leaving me in the dark and gaslighting me when I confronted them, mocking and ridiculing me, shedding crocodile tears. To truly be fair, it should happen to them as a child but I fear that might fuck up their capacity to date/love which at least in the case of my so called mother could lead to me never being born. Per my so called family’s long history of animal abuse and neglect, from 2000 onward whatever resources and force necessary will be used to keep pets out of their home. Recognizing how stupid I once was, this is a temporal directive I made for friendship It’s important to understand that 1 The powers that be deliberately hide information from and indoctrinate you 2 Once indoctrinated as a child, it’s incredibly hard to break from

[mystomachfeelsawful]

I turned 30 this year. My brother (who is literally getting ready to plan out his life as a father lol) told me that 30 was going to change me. That I was going to transform at 30. I scoffed at this. Ridiculous. 

I feel like a real artist. For the first time in, literally forever. 

I gigged so much in 2022. I directed 5 plays and 4 workshops and had an additional 3 where I was a playwright, each on a scale I’d never dreamed of. I finished first drafts of three musical theatre books, a whole complete draft of Woking Phoenix, did my first tour and won a sparkly trophy.  

I’ve never worked this much in my life. At the end of 2019, I was getting ready to direct at a community theatre with a leadership team that frankly, didn’t want me there. I was barely making ends meet financially (though I had convinced myself otherwise) and was working a catering job where my favourite supervisor was quickly becoming a Ben Shapiro “centrist” stan. So yeah, I dunno, success.

But I think somewhere along the way, I realized that I think, for maybe the first time, I needed to work on myself. Beyond me as an artist. On my 30th birthday, my summer roommate Thomas and I decided to have a dumpling party for me. We invited a bunch of people over to make dumplings at my house, friends, students and just have a birthday party. I don’t usually host parties, or really host anything aside from theatre things. I haven’t had a real birthday party for just friends since I was a kid. 

A whole bunch of people showed up. Like, lots of people. And we kept making dumplings, frying them, eating them. Just a bunch of buds, former students, friends. And I just felt really loved. Felt really taken care of.

And I think, I realized that this was a part of my life I was missing - like living a more full life meant more than just making art I believed in. Mind, you, I think me feeling success as a theatre artist was the catalyst for this, as I think I had convinced myself in my twenties that I could not be happy unless I had achieved career success first (which stems back to a lot of other things), but yeah. I think Adam was right. Something did change.

Here’s some things that happened this year.

1 - I taught and directed at two theatre schools - the University of Toronto Missisauga and Toronto Metropolitan University. Both Hookman and Servant were two of the largest projects I’ve ever worked on in terms of scale - a far cry from the fringe shows I’m used to working on. I got white models, a woodshop was working on the project, people would show me samples of fabrics and prints before rehearsals. I had a moment during the tech of Servant where I saw Sarah’s set load in and I got emotional. I wasn’t getting heatstroke in a garage. I was directing a real show with real moving parts in a non-festival setting.

More importantly, I was able to direct on my own terms (more on this in the next point). I always resented the theatre school guest director who flew in from somewhere exotic, spoke down to the students and then flew away - I always resented the guest director that students were scared of. So I really tried to treat the students like they were professionals on my indie productions, with the same level of scrappy tenacity and being really honest when things weren’t working without making them feel shame. 

Teaching also presented some challenges - especially that of balancing pedagogy and directing. How do you nurture students while also giving them a sense of rigor? How do you adapt to folks who aren’t benefitting/don’t work with your process? How do you deal with class dynamics that can exist outside and inside a room? I learned a lot from both experiences and am excited to use what I learned in Winnipeg when I fly out in two months(!). I take teaching really seriously because my first theatre school teachers failed me (in both crushing my sense of belief in myself and feeling like I belonged in this industry). It’s our job as educators to not only give students rigor, but a sense that they can do this if they have strong process. Hungry to get back in the ring.

2 - I put my demons to rest at TMU. I feel every year I end up talking about Ryerson and how hurt I was, etc. Never did I think I’d be directing there so soon in my career, and never did I think I’d be directing a dream show there.

I read Hookman early in pandemic and immediately fell in love with it as a script. It was wild, violent and had a deeply moving core. Also, it seemed like it was an impossible play on the indie scale I usually work at. How do you do a fight in a moving car onstage? How can characters get stabbed and profusely bleed - with actual stage blood. Hookman felt like a project I’d work on when I was well into my “career” and could find a theatre that could fully back in.

Much to my surprise, Hookman happened earlier than I thought. 

Walking outside RTS (rip the old building) has always given me a sense of small dread. It represents a journey I wasn’t able to finish, one I desperately wanted to finish at the time, but was told by the faculty (repeatedly) that I should leave. As immature as this is, I never got to do a fourth year show, I never got to even speak in class (the acting class in the first semester is one where you have to be silent), so the school has always existed as a weird mark of failure for me. I was kind of worried I’d be triggered going back there. 2/3 of the faculty that sat on my panel as I was told to leave (and then told that I could use the yoga I learned to lose weight in my real life) were still teaching there. 

I set up protocols. Those folks weren’t allowed in my rehearsal room. They weren’t allowed to email me, etc. I wanted to make sure that the room was a safe space for me in returning back to a site that’s haunted me for the last 12 years.

I didn’t need those protocols. What I got was a process where I met incredible collaborators and where we all got to put up our best work in the hottest rehearsal space I’ve ever worked in (not sexually. thermally. 370 was a sauna and I have no idea how Desmond fought in what was essentially a full morph suit every rehearsal). A process where the students fought for me as much as I fought for them. A process where, I think, we all left as stronger artists.

As we all sat in the basement of the creative school after our show (and the subsequent quasi-techie dance that followed), and we kind of all cried together and shared stories of how proud of each other we all were, I kind of felt my RTS demons leave me. My closure toward RTS wasn’t destroying the school or cancelling my problematic teachers, it was being the leader I didn’t have when I was there. Someone who pushed, but also encouraged students to be great artists, that even if the run/work wasn’t strong that day, it was still always achievable. Where we could laugh at failure openly and view success as not an end destination, but another thread to rediscover in the run. Where they didn’t have to leave the program with a big chip on their shoulder, but with work everyone was genuinely proud of.

I feel really grateful to have the TMU experience that I did. I feel I can walk past the Creative School with a wonderful sense of closure. I had my fourth year show, but it was on my terms and put the students first. And no letter or probationary status can take that away from me.

Also, if you want me to vouch for any of my students at UTM or TMU, shoot me a line. Wild about them and all of their work. 

3 - Quitting. A big part of this year was also learning to value my own self worth as an artist and a person. Another beautiful part of working so much was the ability to say no to projects at any point. A lot of my own work in pandemic has been recognizing my own self worth and recognizing that I don’t need to make theatre all the time regardless of work conditions - no matter if the project is near and dear to my heart or it isn’t. That sacrificing myself for the greater good or someone else’s needs is not something I ever want to do. I left projects this year because the environment was abusive, the organizational structure was dreadful, or it was simply time to go. It doesn’t matter what the project is, if the vibe feels wrong or something feels off, I can’t do it.

This also applies to people. I ended some friendships this year and cut some people out. I think sometimes you can only try so much before you realize that something isn’t working and that person isn’t worth your energy anymore.

4 - After June 12th and the aforementioned birthday party, I entered the world of online dating. After not dating for 8 years because of an ex who messed me up, I think I reached a point where I was happy with myself enough to see if it was for me again. I had a goal of going at just one date by August 30th.

And man, what a weird ride that was. I met a whole slew of people, from someone who told me that she didn’t believe that she could be happy if she was single, to someone else who tried to get me into bitcoin, to a weirdly quiet date where someone told me her only goal in life was to make a lot of money so she could become a landlord.

I think though, in spite of all of the weirdos (myself included), the normies, the awkward silences and the occasional moments of genuine connection, I felt braver after this summer, like I started to figure out what I wanted in other people, but also when a connection was genuinely forming. I also started viewing myself as genuinely attractive as a human, not just an artist, someone who could desire and be desired. So yeah, pretty rad. 

5 - I feel like if my twenties were about learning about myself as an artist, my thirties could be about learning about myself as a human - about putting myself first always and not compromising my own needs for other people. I feel genuinely like 2022 was the happiest and most secure I’ve been as an artist and a human. I did a lot of things for just me that were private goals - going to the reference library and reading a bunch of plays, walking from Science World to the Cultch, hosting an impromptu taco birthday for someone I barely knew, starting an activity club in the summer, eating terrible food at a theme restaurant, or just having a whole week to myself to play video games. I’m really fucking content and I want to keep doing that and being that. If that means leaving the party early to play God of War, or just taking time to quietly walk through a new neighbourhood, I really like myself these days and all of my weirdness.

PLAYS

1 - Is God Is

2 - Post Democracy

3 - Love You Wrong Time 

4 - Killing Time 

5 - Queen Goneril

THINGS ON SCREENS (not all new releases in 2022!)

1 - Sort Of

2 - The Bear

3 - Shiva Baby 

4 - Causeway

5 - Cyberpunk: Edgerunners 

6 - The Northman

MEMORIES

1 - Standing on the shores of wreck beach with Maddie, talking about where we were going, who we wanted to be and things we were saying no to.

2 - Walking home from every rehearsal as the sun set, or during a winter afternoon and feeling like, holy shit, I’m doing this.

3 - The whole noche buena workshop.

4 - Hookman’s opening. 

5 - That dumpling party.

6 - Going to the reference library over the summer and grabbing more plays than my hands could hold, sifting through them until I found one that I couldn’t put down.

7 - Seeing Servant’s set for the first time. 

8 - Hearing Meat and WOKING PHOENIX for the first time in front of a live audience after endless zoom meetings (4 years combined total for both).